DEAR FANFICTION WRITERS OF NON CANON SHIPS
by AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter
Summary: THIS IS TO ALL OF YOU NON CANON SHIPPERS OUT THERE AND HINNY HATERS. THIS WILL EXPLAIN HOPEFULLY TO YOU ABOUT THE HINNY SHIPS ARE PERFECT WHILE THE OTHERS AREN'T. THANKFULLY.
1. Chapter 1: Letter from Harry Potter

**DEAR FANFICTION WRITERS**

**THIS IS FROM CANON HARRY JAMES POTTER AND HE WRITES THIS TO YOU, PLEASE READ AS IF THEY WERE TALKING TO YOUR FACE AND IMAGINE THEIR REACTIONS TO THE NON CANON SHIPPING STORIES.**

**Thanks.**

* * *

**DEAR FANFICTION WRITERS:**

Have you even read my life story? I am the boy who lived. THE BOY. I sincerely hope that clears up any gender and/or sexual confusion. But seriously damn, how many girls do you know personally that means give me the full name,physical address, mailing address, phone numbers and emails of the girls you may know that are called Harry? Hmm? Leave a review on my letter.

Also why I am here I may as well set the record straight, no pun intended, in that I am as straight as a ruler, STRAIGHT, DO YOU HEAR THAT? I don't what in god's bloody name gave you the impression that I like men that way, unless you are talking about my actor counterpart, Daniel Radcliffe from your particular movies, while Daniel, may be bisexual or gay, I, Harry James Potter am 100% Straights as a bloody wooden ruler, no pun intended there either. Malfoy I can understand, I've seen all that hair get and grooming, but me?

ME? Come on.

I've seen the folks you've paired me, with...and well, any slash get rid of it, if you'd please, that includes femslashes for my friends, because none of the females are like that out there in this world. The other's that you've paired me with that are opposite sex...

Daphne, Astoria, Tracey or female Blaise, I would never even remote touch a Slytherin, unless the Slytherin in question had red hair. Red hair is a key in the Potter family, My mum had auburn-red, Ginny had red-copper hair, my daughter, Lily, has bright red hair, my paternal grandmother, had medium red hair, my great-grandmother and my 2nd great grandmother both had blood red hair, literally the same color as the blood that we happen to bleed when we get cuts and scrapes. My 3rd great-grandmother, had medium red, my 4th great grandmother had bright red like Lily's, my 5th great grandmother Katherine Anna Potter formerly Weasley, aka Ginny's past live and Ginny's 6th great aunt had red-copper hair color exactly like Ginny.

Back to the pairings you've got me with...other than Ginny? (Raises eyebrows)

1\. Luna, serious, these seems to be a popular pairing, and if it wasn't for a bloody breaking the potter curse, I don't date the insane and well, let's just say she's too out there for me, Rolf and Luna deserve because they are both insane have insane personalities, if not for me testing their blood before they got married I would've assumed they were fraternal twins, however, I did discover that she had a ritual blood chromosomal adoption ritual which means she wasn't truly a lovegood, she was born a distant Evans, which had red-hair originally and once she became 18 she physically and permanently turned into a full lovegood.

2\. Hannah Abbott, Hah this makes me laugh, she was even more worse than Ginny was even still, when I won the war, sheesh...Besides..I wanted a girl who is my equal in everything power included. While Hannah is a redhead thankfully, I just don't see how it would've worked out, because well, like the muggle tv series, she would be more like Daphne Blake in Scooby-Doo, but unfortunately instead of being rescued, she would be dead instead.

3\. Susan Bones, I had to think a bit about this one, while she is a strawberry blonde, and all, it's the um...well, personality that turns me off, because she would be like a redhead Hermione Granger-Weasley whom cares more about her career than love and a family to have.

4\. Hermione Granger? Oh Come this is just sick? She's like my sister, and I have a notice from Albus Dumbledore to...he gave me this message, and said and i quote, 'i started being a manipulator in the year of 1977-1978. Meaning when my parents graduated and all. He didn't make them fall in love with eahc other if that's what you were thinking, no they did that on their own surprisingly and all. But however my father's godmother was Minerva McGonagall and once with her memory was restored she gave Dumbledore's portrait a tongue-lashing, it was hilarious, however, My mum and Dad, had a child 1 yr before. 10 months exactly, Sept 19, 1979. Exactly 10 to 11 months before me. She was named Hermione Jean Potter. Hermione was and is my full blood sister, she was obliviated from my parents memory because I wasn't supposed to be born until July 31, 1981. Meaning I was supposed to be born in the same year as Ginny was born. If I was I imagine me and her would've gotten together sooner and the only reason and the only excuse Albus had to obliviate my and Hermione blood parents, was because to make sure the Longbottom Line continued, because I wouldn't have been the boy who lived, Neville would've become the boy who lived and eventually joined voldemort and the learned the dark lord's secrets and then kill voldemort and then well becoem the next dark lord and then another prophecy would happen and me and Ginny would've had to kill neville. ourselves because of our soul bonds. The fanfiction author 'AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter's' story about the story Harry's Hidden Sibling is 100% the truth.

5\. Cho Chang: I made the mistake once, I won't make it again. Sheesh.

I believe that is all unless you count the incestual couplings, ew...ew...EWWWWWWW. What kind of sick freaks right that sort of stuff and especially about those other types of folks, like the transgender/transsexual folk, that doesn't even exist in our world, because you can experiement in changing for one day and if you wish to change back and experience each version and all. If you wanted to and I have no desire to. (retches, and vomits up for 10 minutes, wipes mouth off)..(Shudders)...

6\. Parvarti/Padma Patil, while i'm not racist, fully, i'm a half-racist, because I see disappointment in my parent's portraits, I would prefer their approval especially Sirius and Remus Lupin's approval as well, in my choice of lovers, so that's the other main reason why I hate these things. My parents however are racists. The only exception to the rule, is an albino child meaning two black parents give birth to a white redhead child. That is the only exception to the rule no other possibilities.

7\. Polygamy stories, well, while people do assume witchcraft is a pagan which are technically polygamist, that's the muggles whom practice or try to practice withcraft,or fake witches wizards, like fake seers and all. The true wizarding world marriages are strictly monogamists. While I appreciate, trying to include Ginny and others into it and all, but that's illegal in the wizarding world just so you know. and all.

I believe that is all. That I've read so far...I've appreciated the stories about me and Ginny as long as it ends the right, way and by the way divorces and annulments, don't happen in the wizarding world, only widowment is allowed. No cheating is allowed because our vows, well, let's just say if I ever did or was pressured to cheat and as soon I orgasmed into the one I was cheating with, I would die as would Ginny and the one whom I cheated on Ginny with. So i've decided never to become like the Jerry Springer guests, nor the Maury Show Guests whatsoever. I take responsibility, no matter what, but then again American are known for being irresponsible, I don't know why you all see fit to criticize my life choice especially my romantic life, because one. I would never cheat on Ginny, because you can't cheat because of the magical bonding vows which prevents cheating or if cheating does occurs, it involves death. So either you have two choices if you are magically married, 1. Is Don't cheat... or 2. Cheat and Die. when you do cheat. there are no third choices that allows cheaters to live and to prosper. No matter what.

There is only one girl truly for me. That is GINERVA (GINNY) MOLLY WEASLEY. Besides I wouldn't be a True Potter, if I didn't go for red-headed girl. IT'S IN OUR DAMN BLOOD.

First, i appreciate the authors, whom try to make the stories from au ships to canon ships even though it's a waste of time, go waste your time trying to find the database or internet farm where ever it is at. and then kill the power and hopefully everything and every story erase., But I do appeciate the stories of the canon ships. I especially love other stories like Epeefencer's story 'Harry Loves Ginny and Ginny Loves Harry' off all of those one shots...While I appreciate the one interrupting Dean quite a hilarious, but that part definitely needs to continue. However (blushes), I also love the HBP:What Harry(I) smelled in Amortentia. chapter, that almost happened I actually encountered Hermione she stopped me and actually asked what was going on. I quite imagine if I wonder if I did avoid would have that really happened?

AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter, thank you for trying to fix the au ships and turn them into canon ships...Use your energy in getting a job if you please that would help me more, trust me.

SECOND, STOP WITH THE AU SHIPS, DIVORCES AND ANNULMENTS ARE ILLEGAL IN THE WIZARDING WORLD. ALL WIZARDS AND WITCHES, PURE BLOODS, HALFBLOODS AND MUGGLEBORNS ARE SUPPOSED TO MARRY MAGICALLY NO, IFS ANDS OR BUTTS ABOUT IT. SHEESH. AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE BLOODY GODS AND GODDESSES IN THE WORLDS, STOP WITH THE DRINNY SHIPS (RETCHES FOR 30 MINUTES, WIPES MOUTH OFF. ALSO WITH THE HARMONY AND DRARRY ONES AS WELL AND ANY OTHER IMMORAL SHIPS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF BLOODY GOD PLEASE. DAMN BUGGER SHITE. DAMN.

Sincerely...

Harry James Potter...

P.S...'I know where each of you live in my world, if I kill your alternate dimension doppelganger, because I can't kill you out there.. don't blame me if you end up dead as well, too... hahahahahahaha.

P.P.S. Read this and weep: I for one DO NOT HAVE A MOMMY-COMPLEX WHATEVER THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT ABOUT.


	2. Ch 2: Letter from Ginerva Molly Weasley

**DEAR FANFICTION WRITERS...**

This is Ginny Weasley, full name Ginerva(spell can be either, Ginerva, Ginervra or any variant really, but it's GINERVA NOT VIRGINIA, I'M BRITISH NOT AMERICAN.) MOLLY WEASLEY I REPEAT,MY FULL NAME IS GINERVA MOLLY WEASLEY, WHILE I DETEST IT, IT'S GINERVA NOT VIRGINIA, SHEESH I'M NOT AMERICAN YOU, THERE ARE NO BRITISH CITIZENS WITH THE NAME OF VIRGINIA IF THERE ARE THEY ARE TOURISTS, OR DUAL-CITIZENS. SHEESH...

I have only ever had three boyfriends in total: Michael Corner, Dean Thomas and Harry Potter. That doesn't make me some kind of scarlet woman who'll jump into the sack with every Tom, Dick and Harry - no pun intended there. I mean seriously people I would never bloody even look at half the people you pair me with. Slytherins: Really, why in the name of Merlin's Saggy Trousers, would I ever bloody touch one of those slimy little liars and evil death eaters... And that's not the even the worst of it. I've seen you lot pairing me with:

1\. Sirius Black. _(HE IS DEAD! Have you ever heard of Having respect for the dead, have a little respect. Damn. Then there is the little fact that he is old enough to be my father! while you American females happen to be gold-diggers and all that. i for one am not one of those types. Mainly the ones who write these crap make me out to be a gold-digger female. I for one however am NOT A GOLD-DIGGER, HOWEVER IF RON WAS A FEMALE, HE WOULD BE ONE NOT ME.)_

2\. Remus Lupin. _(Come on. Are you fucking nuts? Remus and Nymphadora Tonks are a perfectly happy couple. Not to mention Remus used to be my DADA teacher! God, how sick can you lot get(retches).._

3\. Severus Snape..._(Ewww...*retches...* God you lot are damn sick if you pair me with that slimy git, especially if you have me cheating on Harry with that bastard. I never would ever cheat on Harry no on your own bloody graves...EWWWW...EWWWWW...*retches, pukes, vomits... onto the author who writes these ships...(Meanwhile, the author writing this particular ship automatically is covered in vomit from Ginny Weasley with a note...'saying never pair me with snape or this will happen each time you write these bloody ships, stick to me and harry only otherwise you will be constantly covered in vomit and will also have a vomit smell you will never get rid off, sincerely ginny weasley...ps. next time you will experience bat bogeys, along with earwax spiders.)(Back to the letter), I hope you enjoyed my vomit with those that pair me with this my letter..Tehehehehe...(Smiles evilly)._

4\. Neville Longbottom. _(Nev is my friend. I'll never see him romantically. Ever.)_

5\. Any of my brothers..._(INCEST IS BLOODY ILLEGAL. NOT TO METION BLOODY DISGUSTING. *retches and vomits onto every fanfiction author who writes these ships..and writes 'NEVER EVER PAIR ME WITH MY BROTHERS, IT'S ILLEGAL, YES EVEN IN THE WIZARDING WORLD INCEST IS ILLEGAL AND BLOODY DISGUSTING. DAMN UGGGH.)_

6\. Zacharias Smith. _(Tosser..Need I say More..how about chauvinistic bastard and would prefer segregation and the monarchy where men always have the final say?)_

7\. Seamus Finnigan. _(*snorts in disbelief* Me and Seamus? Really? (Shakes her head). He's good friend but romantically. No. Just no.)_

8\. Colin Creevey. _(Um, I don't think Colin likes girls...if you get my drift...)_

9\. Voldemort aka Tom Riddle Jr. _(I had to blink at this one several bloody times just to see I'd read that correct...I'm literally speechless. I can't see how this is even possible, even time travel wouldn't be a deterent to the dark lord's evil. The Dark Lord isn't capable of love...The closest thing to him being that damn snake of his... Besides, a no-nose, a snake-like face and a hissing voice is soooooooooooooooooo not bloody attractive...)_

10\. Hagrid... _(This is almost as bad as Snape. To be honest. I don't know what's worse. Hagrid is my teacher, my friend. What kind of sick mind people would write this shite otherwise. I am thoroughly sickened.)_

Again just to reiterate, just because I've had a few boyfriends DOES NOT MENA I'LL DATE OR SLEEP WITH JUST ANYONE. I HAVE STANDARDS...

*breathes deeply* I could go on as I've seen myself paired with so many other people females included. READ THIS AND READ IT SLOWLY AND SURELY. 'I ONLY LOVE HARRY JAMES POTTER ROMANTICALLY AND NO ONE ELSE WHATSOEVER...'

Sincerely Ginny Weasley..

P.S..I give extreme thanks to the fanfiction writer 'authorandrewcharluspotter' for trying to fix the au ships and turn them into canon ships, especially the polygamy ones i don't know what's worse being with harry and having to share him, or being apart of a polygamy ship. i have to say both are worse. We wizards and witches are MONOGAMISTS NOT POLYGAMISTS, THE FAKE WITCHES AND WIZARDS AND WARLOCKS GIVE US A BAD NAME. SHEESH ARE THE POLYGAMISTS. WE THE TRUE WIZARDS AND WITCHES ARE MONOGAMIST AND WILL REMAIN MONOGAMISTS. NO MATTER WHAT. SHEESH...UGGH...

P.P.S. If I was ever left a widow, I would definitely become suicidal and join Harry on the next great adventure, unless I have responsibility, unless our future daughter, Lily was of age, if I was left a widow at no matter what age, i would follow Harry no matter what. I repeat what I said before. I, Ginerva Molly Weasley being of sound mind, body, magic and soul, hereby vow on my magic and my life, that I love and will only love Harry James Potter romantically, and never love another for the remainder of my years on this Earth. Also I will never be a gold-digger or anybody similar on the cusp on death. SO MOTE IT BE. _*a golden aura surrounds Ginny and enters her body signaling an unbreakable vow.*_

What the previous thing meant was meaning If I break that particular vow and go against it, I will die within 24 hours afterwards, and lose my magic permanently and when a witch or wizard loses their magic they die within 24 hours after they lose their magic or within a minute depending on how weak or strong their magical cores are., Slytherins, would last a year, while Prophecized children and special numbers and even special numbers of special numbers meaning me, would only last a minute if I ever broke this vow. I never cheat because it isn't allowed in the magical world because of our wedding vows or future wedding vows and because of the promise rings me and harry have yes he gave me a promise ring when we got back together after the final battle, to make sure I go to school and make sure neither one of us would ever be tempted to cheat on each other. We are acting like a married couple, yes. because he and ron are in auror training. and I'm finishing up my school yr. because of our promise, if we break our promise rings promise and all since we used our blood to seal the vows, the thing that will happen, if both of us broke the promise at different times, well, we would both die a month later. and if we broke the promise we would die automatically. Thought you all ought to know our promise rings, are very similar to soul bondings talents, let's us communicate telepathically and prevents anybody and anything (love potions, compulsion charms, compulsions potion, etc.,) from ever interfering between mine and Harry's love. to Make sure we always will love one another romantically and never love no one else.

P.P.S. I HATE THE DRINNY SHIPS, COME ON, ME AND DRACO, WHILE ICE QUEEN MALFOY 'A SECOND CHANCE AT LOVE' IS ALRIGHT, I ADMIT IT, BUT THAT'S THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO HAVE THAT TYPE OF SHIP NO OTHER STORY SHOULD WHATSOEVER., CONSIDERING I STILL END UP WITH HARRY AND MORE CHILDREN, BUT THE MALFOY TWINS LUCAS AND DEREK SHOULD HAVE JUST HONESTLY BEEN MISCARRIED AS THAT WOULD'VE BEEN MORE APPROPRIATE, I GUESS THAT ARTHUR WEASLEY DIDN'T TAKE THE UNBREAKABLE VOW WHICH FORBIDS MALFOY AND WEASLEYS FROM EVERY MARRYING EVEN ELOPING ONE ANOTHER UNLESS THE FEMALE HEIR OF THE WEASLEY/PREWETT LINE, WANTS TO BE DISOWNED, I FOR ONE NEVER WANT TO BE DISOWNED NOR STRIPPED OF MY MAGIC AS THAT WHAT THE UNBREAKABLE VOW DOES READ 'AUTHORANDREWCHARLUSPOTTER'S STORY ABOUT SEPTIMUS JULIUS WEASLEY AND THE UNBREAKABLE VOW, THAT PARTICULAR VOW PROHIBITS WEASLEYS AND MALFOYS FROM EVER DATING WHATSOEVER. UNLESS I WOULD RATHER BECOME A SQUIB AND DIE A YEAR LATER AND THEN MY FATHER WILL KILL EVERY WEASLEY LINE PUREBLOOD, AND THE ONES WHO MARRIED INTO THE LINES AND ALSO THE ADOPTED ONES AS WELL, TOO. MEANING HARRY WOULD'VE BEEN KILLED BY MY FATHER AND MY FATHER WILL THEN KILL HIMSELF AND THEREBY SHOW ME THE REASON WHY HE KILLED EVERYONE, AND I WOULD BE SO DISTRAUGHT BECAUSE I COULDN'T TAKE IT IF THEY KILLED THEMSELVES THEREBY I WOULD BE JOINING THEM AND HOPEFULLY HAVING AN AFTERLIFE MARRIAGE CEREMONY TO SOMEONE ELSE AND ALL, BECAUSE THERE IS A REASON THE VOWS SAY TIL DEATH DO US PART, WHEN DEATH DOES YOU PART, YOU BECOME SINGLE, EVEN IN SPIRIT FORM YOU ARE SINGLE ONCE AGAIN. UNLESS YOU BOTH DIE WITHIN THE SAME DAY, LIKE JAMES AND LILY POTTER OF COURSE AND ALL. THAT IS WHAT I WILL AGREE ON, TRUE IT MAY MAKE ME OUT TO BE A BITCH WANTING TWO INNOCENT CHILDREN TO BE DEAD, IT'S EITHER THEY HAVE TO BECOME MISCARRIAGES, OR THE AFTERLIFE IN THAT WORLD HAS TO BE CANCELED OUT AND THOSE PARALLEL UNIVERSE/ALTERNATE UNIVERSE VERSIONS HAS TO BE TORTURED BY RULER AND RULERESS AKA, RED AND EMERALD, AKA WIZARDING GOD AND GODDESS AND ALL, THEY WOULD BE TORTURED BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE BOND, THE DAMSEL-IN-DISTRESS RESCUE BETROTHAL BOND WHICH IS A TRUE THING AND ALL. THANK YOU. DAMN.


	3. Ch3: Letter from Ruler and Ruleress

**DEAR FANFICTION WRITERS, **

**THIS IS RULER AND _RULERESS _TALKING AKA THE WIZARDING GOD AND _WIZARDING GODDESS_ AND WE GO BY RULER AND _RULERESS. _**

**FIRST, IF YOU FANFICTION AUTHORS DON'T CREATE YOUR OWN AFTERLIFE, LIKE THE OTHER AUTHOR DID KNOWN AS 'ICE QUEEN MALFOY' THAT PERSON CREATED AN AFTERLIFE BECAUSE THEY KNEW OF US AND ALL. IF YOU DON'T THEN THE NON CANON SHIPS, HAVE TO GO TO CANON HEAVEN OR CANON HELL AND THEY HAVE TO FOLLOW THE CANON RULES NOT THEIR OWN EARTH'S AFTERLIFE RULES IF THEY HAD ONE AND ALL AND ALL NON CANON SHIPS ARE CONSIDERED BLASPHEMOUS TO ME AND RULERESS AND ALL. MY WIFE IS GOING ON A RAMPAGE RIGHT NOW SO I'M LETTING HER LET OUT HER STEAM. YES SHE IS A RED HEAD, BUT WORSE THAN GINNY, LILY(EVANS) POTTER AND MOLLY COMBINED.(SHUDDERS). IF YOU DON'T WANT TO PAY ATTENTION THAT THE MULTIVERSE EXIST AND THAT ALL WORLDS, EVEN THE DOUBLES OF THE 'REAL' WORLD EXISTS AS DOES EVERY FICTIONAL (CANON AND OTHERWISE) AND FANFICTIONAL WORLDS EXIST IN THEIR OWN PARALLEL DIMENSION/EARTH. I'M JUST SAYING AND SINCE YOU AUTHORS NEVER LISTEN, WE HAVE TO USE THE YELLING CAPSLOCK AND YOU STILL DON'T EVEN LISTEN, WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO, LIGHTNING STRIKE YOU DOWN IN YOUR WORLD AND ALL THAT. I HAVE A HUMAN HALF IN THE CHRISTIAN GOD'S WORLD, AND YES WE GODS DID INDEED START OUT LIFE AS NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS AND ALL AND MY HUMAN HALF'S HUMAN FANFICTION AUTHOR NAME IS AUTHORANDREWCHARLUSPOTTER AND HE KNOWS THE NON CANON SHIPPING IS WRONG. THOUGH HE DID USE TO BE A HARMONY(HARRY/HERMIONE SHIPPER) UNTIL I, HIS GODLY SELF POINTED OUT THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS AND ALL. THEN HE BECAME A HELP AS I TOLD HIM NO MATTER OF PLAGERIZING AND ALL TO TRY TO CONVERT ALL NON CANON SHIPPING STORIES BACK INTO CANON SHIPS AND ALL OR THE VERY LEAST CREATE AN AFTERLIFE AND THEIR PUNISHMENTS THOUGH INSTEAD IF HE COULDN'T STAND READING THEM. AS WHEN A NON CANON SHIP CREATED IT HURTS MY HUMAN SELF AS WELL AS ME, KNOWN AS THE GODLY SELF AS WELL TOO.**

**YES HE HAS MY PERMISSION TO DO THE THINGS I'VE LISTED AND ALL. (GULPS) UH-OH HERES' ME WIFE. SHE WILL BE WRITING IN ITALICS.**

_**FANFICTION AUTHORS HOW DARE YOU CREATE ANY NON CANON SHIPS IN THE HARRY POTTER WORLD ESPECIALLY IMMORAL, INCESTUAL OR EVEN POLYGAMY SHIPS, I'M UTTERLY DISGUSTED BY EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU MORTAL HUMANS YOU BETTER BE DAMN SURE YOU STAY ALIVE UNLESS YOU WANT TO FACE MY WRATH, WHICH IS THREE TIMES AS WORSE AS GINERVA'S, LILY POTTER NEE EVANS AND MOLLY'S TEMPER AND WRATH COMBINED. NOW IMAGINE MY WRATH. AND IMAGINE GINNY'S, LILY I, AND MOLLY I'S WRATH, MY WRATH IS SEVEN TIMES MORE DEADLY THAN THEIRS. DON'T THINK I WILL NOT FIND YOU AS MY LOVELY HUSBAND HAS YET TO TOLD YOU THAT YOUR CHRISTIAN GOD'S HUMAN SELF IS FROM OUR WORLD, YES, HE WAS A MAGICAL PERSON WHO HATED THE WIZARDING WORLD LAWS AND HOW STRICT THEY WERE WHEN THEY CAME TO ROMANTIC SHIPS, WHILE YOUR CHRISTIAN GOD'S HUMAN SELF IS FROM OUR WORLD, AND HE CREATED HIS OWN COUNTERPART FOR OUR WORLD, ME HUSBAND RULER. AND ALL. HIS HUMAN SELF TRIES TO HELP THE UNIVERSE TO STOP IT FROM TEARING ITSELF FROM LIMB TO LIMB AND RIP THE FABRIC IN TIME IN HALF TEARING APART THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM IS BECAUSE OF ALL OF YOUR NON CANON SHIPS, WHY DO YOU THINK THERE IS LOT'S OF GLOBAL WARMING IN YOUR EARTH AND ALL OF THE NATURAL DISASTERS IS BECAUSE OF YOUR NON CANON SHIPS IS TRYING TO TELL, YOU DELETE THEM OR AT THE VERY LEAST TURN THEM TO CANON NO IFS ANDS OR BUTTS ABOUT IT. NOT UNLESS YOU WANT TO GO TO WIZARDING HELL WHEN YOU GET DEAD. YOU WON'T BE SAVED BY YOUR CHRISTIAN GOD EITHER AS YOU BROKE ONE OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS BY HAVING ANOTHER GOD BY CREATING THE WORLD, YOU YOURSELF BECAME THE GOD OF SAID FANFICTION WORLD. THAT IN TURN IS TAKING ANOTHER GODS' PLACE WHICH IS BLASPHEMOUS TO BOTH THE WIZARDING GOD, AND ME THE WIZARDING GODDESS AS WELL AS YOUR CHRISTIAN GOD THE FATHER, HOLY SPIRIT AND JESUS CHRIST, TOO.**_

_**I COULD GO ON AND ON, BUT STILL. I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT HOW THE NAMES SOUND IN THE CANON WORLD VS YOUR NON CANON SHIPPING WORLDS. AS WELL LET'S JUST SAY. FRED HAS TO STAY DEAD EVEN IF HE WAS ALIVE, HE WOULD HAVE ENDED UP WITH ALICIA SPINNET, CONSIDERING GEORGE ENDED UP WITH ANGELINA JOHNSON. NOW ON TO THE OTHER THINGS. THINK OF YOUR PARENTS IF YOUR ORIGINAL PARENTS ARE STILL TOGETHER AND IF THEY ARE DIVORCED STILL THINK OF YOUR PARENTS AS IT WOULD EXPLAIN THE REASON WHY THEY ARE DIVORCED TO.**_

_**SAY YOUR FATHER'S FIRST AND MIDDLE NAME WITH YOUR MOTHER'S(YOUR BIRTH MOTHER'S) MAIDEN NAME AND THEN SAY YOUR MOTHERS FIRST AND MIDDLE NAME WITH YOUR BIRTH FATHERS LAST NAME OR SURNAME TO YOU SMART AND SIMPLETON FOLK. IF IT SOUNDS RIGHT THEN IT IS. AND I'M KEEPING MY HUSBANDS' FAMILY OUT OF THIS BLOODY LETTER AND WE WILL EXPLAIN THE NAME THING IN A MINUTE. NOW THINK IF YOUR PARENTS NAMES SOUND FINE WITH THE OTHERS LAST NAME, THEN THEY ARE A PERFECT MATCH HOWEVER, IF IT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT, IF ONE OF THEM SOUNDS RIGHT AND THEN OTHER DOESN'T THEN THEY AREN'T A PERFECT MATCH. **_

_**NOW TO THE HARRY POTTER MATCHES OF THE HARRY POTTER WORLD, YOUR NON CANON SHIPS FIRST.**_

_**FIRST ANY SLASH OR FEMSLASH IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN IN THE WIZARDING HEAVEN AS WELL AS THE WIZARDING WORLD ITSELF. UNLESS THEY USE A SEX CHANGE POTION OF THE 1/2 OF THE COUPLE WHOM HAS THE HIGHER ESTROGEN/PROGESTERONE(HOMOSEXUAL COUPLE, THE BOY TAKES THE SRS POTION WHO HAS THE HIGHER ESTROGEN/PROGESTERONE LEVEL) AND TESTOSTERONE/ANDROGEN(LESBIAN COUPLE, ONE GIRL TAKES THE SRS WHO HAS THE HIGHER TESTOSTERONE/ANDROGEN LEVEL) LEVELS. AND ALL THAT. THE MAGICAL SRS CHANGES THE FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE TO MALE REPRODUCTIVE AND VICE VERSA.**_

_**NOW ON TO THE HETEROSEXUAL NON CANON SHIPS. **_

_**FOR HARRY POTTER PERSONALLY, HARRY JAMES POTTER, HIS TRUE NAME IS HARRY JAMES POTTER, NOT HAROLD POTTER, NOT HADRIAN PEVERELL, OR HADRIAN POTTER, NOT HAROLD JAMESON POTTER. NOT ANY VARIANT. HIS NAME IS SIMPLY 'HARRY' 'JAMES' 'POTTER'.**_

_**NOW THAT IS TAKEN CARE OF. NOW ONTO THE NON CANON SHIPS. LET'S START WITH THE SLYTHERIN FEMALE.**_

_**HARRY GREENGRASS, JAMES GREENGRASS, HARRY JAMES GREENGRASS, DAPHNE POTTER, ASTORIA POTTER? NO EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE MATCH.**_

_**NOW THE NEXT SLYTHERIN FEMALE I MIGHT UNDERSTAND AS SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE A FEMALE VERSION OF HARRY HIMSELF, IF YOU LOOK UP ON THE FANDOM WEBSITES AND ALL.**_

_**HARRY DAVIS, JAMES DAVIS, HARRY JAMES DAVIS, TRACEY POTTER, I WOULD SAY AT LEAST 45-50% MATCH FOR THIS COUPLING. BUT THE NAMES NEED TO BE AT LEAST 90%-100%**_

_**NOW ON TO HARRY'S EX OR EXES IN THE OTHER STORIES.**_

_**HARRY PATIL, PADMA POTTER, PARVARTI POTTER? NEARLY 5% MATCH WITH THE NAMES.**_

_**HARRY CHANG, JAMES CHANG, CHO POTTER 2% MATCH WITH THE NAMES.**_

_**HARRY LOVEGOOD, JAMES LOVEGOOD, HARRY JAMES LOVEGOOD, LUNA POTTER, 15% MATCH WITH THE NAMES.**_

_**HARRY BONES, JAMES BONES, HARRY JAMES BONES, SUSAN POTTER, AMELIA POTTER, SUSAN AMELIA POTTER. 20%MATCH WITH NAMES.**_

_**HARRY ABBOTT, JAMES ABBOTT, HARRY JAMES ABBOTT. HANNAH POTTER. 24% MATCH.**_

_**HARRY GRANGER, JAMES GRANGER, HARRY JAMES GRANGER, HERMIONE POTTER, JEAN POTTER, HERMIONE JEAN POTTER, 35% MATCH IN THE NAMES.**_

_**HARRY PERKINS, JAMES PERKINS, HARRY JAMES PERKINS, SALLY-ANNE POTTER, 45%MATCH.**_

_**NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THE NAMES THEORY WORKS THAT BOTH SETS OF NAMES HAVE TO MATCH WITH THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER'S SURNAMES AND ALL.**_

_**NOW FOR CANON FOR HARRY JAMES POTTER.**_

_**HARRY WEASLEY, JAMES WEASLEY, HARRY JAMES WEASLEY, GINERVA POTTER, GINNY POTTER, MOLLY POTTER, GINERA MOLLY 'GINNY' POTTER. 100% MATCH IN THE NAMES EVEN NICKNAMES.**_

_**HARRY AND GINNY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO ARE COMPLETE SOULMATES AS THEY ARE PROPHECIZED AND SPECIAL NUMBERS CHILD WHICH MEANS AUTOMATICALLY THEY ARE COMPATIBLE AND DESERVE TO BE TOGETHER ROMANTICALLY NO IFS ANDS OR BUTTS ABOUT. IF YOU SAY GINNY IS A LONG LOST SISTER TO HARRY THEN YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR BLOODY MIND, GINNY AND LILY EVANS POTTER DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING ALIKE. GINNY HAS FRECKLES, LILY POTTER DOESN'T. THE ONLY THING COMPARABLE IS THE ATTITUDE AND THE HAIR, HOWEVER LILY HAS AUBURN HAIR (CLOSE TO BLOOD DARK BLOOD HAIR), GINNY HAS BRIGHT RED-COPPER COLOR, IF YOU COMBINE BLACK AND DARK RED HAIR THE CHILD IF POTENTIAL WAS POSSIBLE AND ALL, JAMES AND LILY WOULD HAVE HAD AN AUBURN HAIR CHILD, NOT A BRIGHT COPPER RED HEAD CHILD.**_

_**ARTHUR AND MOLLY ARE BOTH REDHEADS AND REDHEAD COUPLES HAVE VARIANT SHADES OF REDHEAD CHILDREN OR HEIRS. POTENTIALLY COULD POSSIBLY LOOK SOMEWHAT SIMILAR. REMEMBER THE MUGGLEBORNS MAGIC COMES FROM SQUIBS IN THE ANCESTRY AND IT'S A POSSIBILITY THAT ONE OF THE EVANS ANCESTORS MARRIED A WEASLEY OR PREWETT YES.. BUT THEY WOULD MAKE HARRY AND GINNY DISTANT COUSINS. 7TH COUSINS TO BE EXACT OR MORE DISTANT POTENTIALLY DOUBLE DIGIT DISTANCE.**_

_**I'M JUST SAYING HARRY AND GINNY BELONG TOGETHER, NO MATTER WHAT YOU NON CANON SHIPPERS OR HINNY HATERS THINK.**_

_**HARRY AND HERMIONE IS A 35% MATCH IN NAMES, NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF THE NAME PROBLEMS, BUT I BELIEVE BECAUSE OF HOW SIMILAR HERMIONE ACTS LIKE HIS AUNT PETUNIA.**_

_**PETUNIA: FINE BROWN HAIR, LONG NECK, GOSSIP (LOOKS DOWN ON OTHERS WHO AREN'T PERFECT LIKE HER) LOOKS LIKE A HORSE.**_

_**HERMIONE: BUSHY BROWN HAIR, BUCK TEETH, UPTURN SNOUT (LOOKS DOWN ON OTHERS WHO DON'T TAKE THEIR SCHOOLWORK SERIOUSLY), LOOKS LIKE A HORSE AS WELL TOO.**_

_**HORSE ATTRIBUTES: FINE OR BUSHY MANE, UPTURN SNOUT, LONG NECK AND BUCK TEETH. **_

_**THAT IS THE MAIN REASON WHY HARRY AND HERMIONE WOULD NEVER WORK OUT. **_

_**I CAN SEE THE OTHER SHIPS IF GINNY MEETS HER END (6FT UNDER IS WHAT I MEAN) THERE IS NO OTHER WAY THAT HARRY WOULD EVER MOVE COMPLETELY ON FROM GINNY NOT UNLESS SHE WAS 6FT UNDER THE GROUND. NO IFS ANDS OR BUTTS ABOUT.**_

_**THE MOST SHIPS I COULD POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND IS A HARRY/TRACEY SHIP, FOR A COUPLE OF REASONS..THE ATTRIBUTES.**_

_**HARRY: GREEN EYES, BLACK HAIR, WEARS GLASSES.**_

_**TRACEY DAVIS: GREEN EYES, BLACK HAIR, WEARS GLASSES, LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE A FEMALE VERSION OF HARRY.**_

_**BASICALLY I CAN UNDERSTAND THIS SHIP, IS BECAUSE TRACEY LOOKS LIKE UNRELATED TWIN OF HARRY POTTER. A FRATERNAL IN GENDER TWIN, BUT IDENTICAL IN LOOKS AND POTENTIAL ATTITUDE AS WELL, BUT ONLY IF GINNY IS 6FT UNDER NO IFS ANDS OR BUTTS ABOUT. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING GRIFFIN'S SHITE IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE, BUT IN ORDER FOR THE LOWER MATCHES TO GET A POTENTIAL DATE FROM THE BOY WHO LIVED, GINNY HERSELF HAS TO BE 6FT UNDER OR NEVER BEEN BORN OR DIES OF SDIS AKA SUDDEN DEATH INFANT SYNDROME, MISCARRIAGE, STILLBIRTH, STILLBORN OR ANY VARIANT OF HER DEATH BEFORE THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS PROBLEMATIC. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY FOR THE OTHER SHIPS TO EVEN HAPPEN.**_

_**AFFAIRS ARE DON'T HAPPEN IN THE WIZARDING WORLD BECAUSE THE MAGICAL MARRIAGE BONDS PREVENTS THEM.**_

_**BECAUSE IF THE HUSBAND CHEATS ON HIS WIFE WITH ONE OF HIS EXES, AS SOON AS THE HUSBAND CLIMAXED (ORGASMED) INTO HIS EXES HOLES, MOUTH, VAGINA, OR ASSHOLE, THEN THE HUSBAND DIES, AS DOES THE EX ALONG WITH THE WIFE. AND VICE VERSA FOR THE WIFE'S ROLES AS WELL, TOO. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU PULL OUT AT THE LAST SECOND EITHER TOO, THE MAGIC ITSELF KNOWS YOU BROKE AND WILL ALWAYS PUNISH THE ONES WHO DESERVE IT. AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO CHEATERS IN THE MAGICAL WORLD. AS WELL AS THE SLUTS OR MANWHORE OR FEMALE WHORES. I'M JUST SAYING.**_

_**FYI GINERVA IS NOT A GOLD DIGGER AT ALL. IF RON WAS A FEMALE I COULD UNDERSTAND THAT YES, BUT GINNY HERSELF IS NOT A GOLD DIGGER, IF SHE MARRIED MALFOY AND THEN MARRIED HARRY THEN YES IT IS A POSSIBILITY THAT SHE IS A GOLD DIGGER, IF SHE WAS WILLING TO MARRY A SLYTHERIN, BUT IF SHE WAS FORCED TO MARRY A SLYTHERIN READ 'The Price of Victory' by 'SBMCNEIL' YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN.**_

_**THE ONLY GOLD DIGGERS I SEE IN THE HARRY POTTER WORLD ARE CHO CHANG, PANSY PARKINSON, DAPHNE GREENGRASS AND POTENTIALLY ASTORIA GREENGRASS AS WELL, TOO. TRACEY DAVIS MAY THE ONLY SLYTHERIN FEMALE THAT IS NOT A GOLD DIGGER. ANY OTHER SLYTHERINS ARE. AND SOME RAVENCLAWS.**_

_**I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND HARRY HAS ONLY 100%MATCH IN NAMES WITH GINNY ONLY AND THERE FORE THERE ARE NO OTHER 100% MATCHES NOT UNLESS GINNY HAS A TWIN NAME JUNIPER OR COUSIN OR SOMETHING OF THE SORT AND ALL. **_

_**NOW THE OTHER CHARACTER MAY HAVE MORE THAN ONE MATCH OF 100% MATCH IN NAMES, BUT HARRY DOESN'T. SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK STUBBORN ASS/ARSE HEADS. HARRY AND GINNY ARE SOULMATES AND WILL ALWAYS BE SOULMATES NO IFS ANDS OR BUTTS ABOUT IT. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME. THEN WAIT TIL THE DAY YOU DIE AND ME AND MY HUSBAND WILL LOVE TO PUT YOU AND YOUR HINNY HATERS INTO WIZARDING HELL. YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR CHARACTER NON CANON SHIPPING BLASPHEMOUS WAYS, THERE FORE YOU WILL BE SENT TO WIZARDING HELL FOR AT LEAST 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 MILLENNIA. AND YOUR PUNISHMENTS WELL, LET'S JUST SAY WE HAVE A SPECIAL PUNISHMENT FOR YOU HINNY HATERS. WHAT WOULD BE THE MOST HORRIFIC EXPERIENCE TO WITNESS ANYTHING BUT THE ONLY TRUTH OUT THERE. THAT MEANS YOU WILL BE REBORN AS A WIZARD/WITCH OF ANY DESCENT AND BE PLACED INTO THE CANON WORLD ALONG WITH THE CANON HARRY AND CANON GINNY AND YOU CAN WATCH THE ROMANCE WITH YOUR OWN EYES, BUT YOU WANT BE ABLE TO INTERRUPT, OR SPEED UP THE ROMANCE EITHER YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO WATCH AND WAIT AND EVERY TIME THE HARRY AND GINNY KISS YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL AN ELECTRIC SHOCK. SIMILAR TO THE STATIC SHOCKS, BUT STRONGER. AND THAT IS NOT ALL. WE WILL ALSO GIVE YOU HINNY HATERS SOULMATES AND LEAVE YOUR MEMORIES OF THIS CHRISTIANITY WORLD BUT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SPEAK OF THIS WORLD EXCEPT IN THE TERMS OF MUGGLE WORLD. AND YOUR SOULMATE WILL BE POSSIBLY ONE OF YOUR EXES OR ONE PERSON WHOM YOU NEVER HAD A TRUE INTEREST IN WHILE THEY WOULD HAVE HAD AN INTEREST IN YOU AND YOU WILL GET TOGETHER WITH SAID PERSON OTHER WISE, YOU WILL BE SENT THROUGH THE DEATH VEIL IN THE DOM IF YOU DON'T GET TOGETHER WITH YOUR SOULMATE AND ALL AND YOU AND YOUR SOULMATE WILL SHARE EMOTIONS, SPEAK TELEPATHICALLY AND SHARE MEMORIES OF THIS LIFE AND YOUR NEW WIZARDING/WITCHING LIFE AS WELL. THAT IS YOUR SPECIAL PUNISHMENT FOR ALL OF YOU NON CANON SHIPPERS OUT THERE.**_

_**SINCERELY RULER AND RULERESS.**_

_**AKA THE WIZARDING GOD AND GODDESS.**_


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